Since its release in 2009, and long past its discontinuation in 2012, the Wii has held a special place in many gamers’ hearts, mine included. It was a unique console at the time, making use of a controller that detected movement in three-dimensions. Players were encouraged to get up and move as an increasing number of games supported this new interactive way of gaming.
Although previous attempts have been made to allow gamers to control things on-screen with their arms, hands, and body, the Wii was the first to truly achieve this. It gave gaming a new edge and gamers of all ages fell in love with the quirky console.
The Wii was a hit, especially with families and casual gamers, and many of its titles were focused on movement. Games on the Wii were often adapted to require you to jump, dance and wave your arms about to play. This is the point that things got really crazy.
Accessory makers everywhere jumped on the bandwagon to make plastic add-ons for you to clip onto your Wiimote, as it is known. These were marketed as great enhancements to your gaming experience, adding an extra dimension of realism to your play. However, the reality was that many of these peripherals were nothing more than useless. Some were so specialized that there wasn’t even a niche market for them, while others just simply sucked.
So take a trip with me as I discover 20 truly terrible Wii accessories and 10 that were actually completely useless.
29 Terrible: Wii Wings
If you’ve ever wanted to wear cheap fabric wings and pretend to be a chicken this is the accessory for you. It comprises entire of a pair of fabric wings you can attach to your hands for use in one Wii Fit Plus mini-game.
This innovative but ultimately useless accessory has one sole function, to make you look like even more of an idiot than you did before you bought it.
I’m still trying to work out the benefit to your gameplay, although I can see the benefit for your friends as they laugh at you waving your wings around like a lunatic.
28 Terrible: Wii Cooking Mama Pan And Utensils
This tiny plastic pan and Swiss Army Knife-style utensil set is a classic case of an item which looks like a great idea but turns into a disaster.
Not only does the pan block the sensor but the utensils are very loose, meaning they move around as you use them.
Buyers report that they pretty much universally rejected these items and would not recommend them. The only good reviews I found are those from people who reviewed just the game or reviewed the accessories without actually trying to use them first.
27 Useless: Wii Combat Pack
The Wii combat pack comprises a sword and shield add-on and was designed for use with The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. There appear to be two versions of this, one is a replica of Link’s Hylian Shield, the other a more traditional looking golden crested version.
Whichever version you choose you can expect your experience to be equally bad.
The tiny sword is reported to make handling the Wiimote difficult. It also blocks the remote sensor, rendering the controller useless. So basically this is a toddlers’ playset that you can put an expensive remote into.
26 Terrible: Wii Rowing Machine
The Wii rowing machine is a console version of an actual rowing machine, and about as useful.
This tacky looking cheap plastic unit houses the Wiimote in its handle. Although it may work for a couple of events in Wii Fit or Wii Sports Resort ultimately its destined to be used twice then ignored forevermore, just like real rowing machines.
It’s limited use and terrible looks make it much more likely to find a home in your basement or attic than take a spot next to your console.
25 Terrible: Wii Zapper
The Wii Zapper is an official accessory which came bundled with Ghost Squad in Japan and Link’s Crossbow Training in other regions. The idea was that it would make the player really feel like they were aiming a crossbow. Except it doesn’t.
It’s incredibly clunky to hold and actually makes it harder to aim.
Although it does look better than many Wii accessories I’ve seen it remains useless. We actually have one of these. It’s been in the box since approximately 16 minutes after it was tested by our entire family, who all declared it pointless.
24 Useless: Wii Knockout Boxing Gloves
These very serious looking Wii boxing gloves come with an adjustable velcro strap, pouches to hold your Wiimote and one minor drawback. They are absolutely useless.
If you got drawn in by the shiny leather and tempted by the idea of feeling like you were really boxing then sadly you were in for a huge disappointment.
The controller was totally inaccessible once placed inside the gloves. It was impossible to start a new game, pause or even use the Wiimote. The only way to play was to remove the controller entirely and just hold it. Like you would do normally.
23 Terrible: Wii Babysitting Mama Doll
This slightly sinister looking baby was bundled with the game Babysitting Mama, a spin-off of the Cooking Mama series.
You put the Wiimote inside the doll then played with the doll on different settings. Depending on what name you chose would determine how fussy the “baby” was.
Essentially you just rocked, cuddled and held the doll to unlock pages of its baby book. Critics have described the game as dull and gimmicky. Even the games young target market weren’t interested in this dull doll.
22 Terrible: Wii Slip Proof Gloves
These white finger-less gloves claimed to be made of special ventilated material and had leather palms to stop the remote slipping from your hands. Nintendo actually an official and expensive version but there are many variations available.
Each one is united in its pointlessness.
If you were one of the small minority of people who were unable to keep a remote in your hand then having gloves on was unlikely to do much for you. Even if it did you could just use any pair of leather gloves.
21 Useless: Wii Football
This is one of those ideas that make you wonder how they ever got made. Firstly the obvious error. It’s a football that you cannot actually throw. Actually technically you could throw it, but expect to say goodbye to both your Wiimote and your TV.
You may think that it could be redeemed by giving you that holding a ball feel as you play. Sadly, you’d be wrong. Not only can you not throw it but it’s difficult to play when the b button is (according to the instructions) “conveniently” located on the back of the ball.
20 Terrible: Wii Crossbow
There are a couple of variations on the Wii crossbow and each is as terrible as the next. They are roughly the same basic design as the Wii Zapper but with added details to make them more crossbow like.
Although some players loved them many more hated them. They are clunky and awkward to hold and there are reports that some of them caused the Wiimotes to crash and freeze frequently. Not what you need in the middle of a battle.
19 Terrible: Wii Vitality Sensor
Originally showcased at E3 in 2009, the vitality sensor is one of those rare beasts, an accessory so bad it was actually canceled before it even had a chance to be released.
The idea was that it was a heartbeat sensor which attached to the remote and monitored your heartbeat. Quite how this was supposed to work while you were playing the game I have no idea. Presumably, it didn’t, which would explain the cancellation.
For years the idea sat in the public sphere, mentioned but not launched, until 2013 when it was officially declared as canceled during a Q&A with Nintendo head Satoru Iwata.
18 Useless: Wiimote Jacket
The Wiimote jacket, one of the most useless inventions ever brought to the console. These plastic skins for your controller were introduced in the name of safety by Nintendo. They were a response to reports that people were breaking controllers by throwing and dropping them.
To Nintendo’s credit, these were actually sent for free to early adopters of the console.
I cannot remember the criteria but I did get some from Nintendo. Sadly they did absolutely nothing to help the issue. They just make the Wiimote more uncomfortable, clunkier and more difficult to control. I’ve not seen one on a controller since 3 days after we got them.
17 Terrible: Wii Steering Wheel
This is the item which makes me the saddest to include. It is an official controller and often came bundled with Mario Kart Wii.
I had high hopes for this controller. I thought it would make Mario Kart even more exciting. Sadly it does not. The quirky control system is a nightmare for racing games and this addon really doesn’t help.
To this day the only way I can play racing games on the Wii or Wii U is with my classic controller, otherwise, my fail count on Rainbow Road reaches double figures before the end of the first lap.
16 Terrible: Wii Sports Pack
There are many different versions of the Wii sports pack. While many boast around half a dozen sporting themed add-ons some are insanely huge. One mammoth sports pack claims to have 28 accessories in one.
I can’t even name 28 different sports without using a search engine.
This means I cannot even imagine what weird and wonderful sports they are covering but you can pretty much guarantee that the method is the same. Simply attach a pointless piece of plastic to your remote and hope it won’t interfere with the Wiimote’s infrared sensor.
15 Useless: Wii Ping Pong Paddles
Ah, ping pong. A classic game made console friendly by the Wii. What could enhance this experience you ask? Well, apparently this delightful Ping Pong paddle set.
Simply click the plastic paddles onto your Wiimote and you too can experience real ping pong in your lounge, without the need for huge tables or even actual ping pong balls.
Of course, you will have to up your skill level to manage this since the paddles actually obscure the top of the controller, stopping it from interacting with the sensor bar. For good measure, they also make the Wiimote more difficult to hold. Definitely not a winner.
14 Terrible: Wii Glo Sword
The inspiration for this light up cheap plastic sword add-on is obvious. A lightsaber style add-on was inevitable for the Wii.
Some of these look better than others. If you were in the market for a Glo Sword, as they were called, then you’d better choose the look carefully because the aesthetic was as good as it got.
As you may expect many of these add-ons caused issues with the Wiimote’s infrared sensor and many more stopped lighting up at random. This accessory definitely had a dark side.
13 Terrible: Wii Golf Club
The Wii golf club comes in several shapes and sizes. Some of them are tiny putter style pieces of plastic that simply clip to the end of the Wiimote. These are often found in the big sports multi-packs and are around the same size as the controller itself. Others are standalone and more complex solutions, involving extendable putters that change length.
Whichever golf club you choose there is one guarantee. It will make your Wiimote harder to hold.
As with the vast majority of these add-ons, the golf clubs often unbalance the controller, making it more difficult to aim and pitch.
12 Useless: Wii Bowling Ball
The Wii bowling bowl may be up there as the winner for the most ridiculous and dangerous accessory of them all. If you purchase this item you can expect the bad times to come rolling around (sorry).
Dangerous and ultimately useless, this ball strikes out.
Not only is it incredibly likely that you will drop or throw this, causing chaos to your surroundings, but the remote is actually inside the ball itself. I am unsure if it’s held securely in place or not but it really doesn’t seem like a wise idea to literally throw your Wiimote at your expensive TV.
11 Terrible: Wii Fit Balance Board
This one is a divisive choice as many players loved the Nintendo licensed balance board and Wii Fit game series. The problems often lay in the fact that it isn’t very intuitive to use.
Many players found it difficult to master the exercises and ended up using it solely as a weighing scale which shouts at you for not exercising.
Navigating the games different modes was also irritating with this controller so many gamers were left simply standing on it occasionally to find out the results of their recent chocolate binge.
10 Terrible: Wii Billiards Cue
You may know this as a billiards cue, pool stick or snooker cue. Whichever your preferred name the result is the same. A long thin and quite flimsy stick which you can attach to your Wiimote to give yourself the experience of virtually sinking a few balls.
The cue itself is at least twice the length of the remote and is reportedly easy to break, difficult to assemble and intermittently blocks the infrared signal from the remote as you try to play the game.
