It’s not a secret to anyone that Fallout games are some of the buggiest most ridiculous pieces of entertainment in the world. But for some reason, we all just accept their faults and flaws and beg the company to keep making more. We look forward to a day where Fallout 192 will be released and you can actually transfer your consciousness into an avatar and spend a few years in the wasteland.
Hopefully, by then we will be living on Mars and stuff like that so we can use Earth exclusively for war. Because what the greatest thing about war is the video games that get sold because of it. The world is split between wanting peace and getting an elimination streak of fifty in a game where you drink the life from your enemies. This is what we call duality. Or maybe it isn’t, but who cares. Memes are the answer.
Take a moment to enjoy to logic fails and break away from your own failures in kind. We all know you have them, and so do your parents. The true question is when are they going to let you know that they know? And when are you going to tell them you like to eat tide pods on the weekends? Let’s hope it’s tomorrow.
24 Hungry And Injured
All gamers know that no matter how long you play a game and no matter how little your body moves during the session, you need food for fuel. Whether its seven-to-fifteen dollar menu burgers or an entire cauldron of mac & cheese. We need what we need. There’s no arguing with the desire either. The avatars we play as also need to be fueled as well.
The difference is that with these avatars we embody have basically no limit to how much they can eat. Wait a second. Do they embody us? Or do we embody them? Weird. Anyway, these characters can carry around hundreds of pieces of meat to then force in their mouths at incredible rates to rapidly heal themselves. And they don’t gain any weight. Sort of unfair. Why must we be such slaves to cheese and drink?
Comic by WhompComic.
23 Wait For Me To Fight You
The idea of pausing a game mid-fight never made sense to us. Since when does a fight get an interruption? When you think about it, militaries have ceasefires, theatre plays have intermissions, and backyard brawls have timeouts. So in that regard, it sort of makes sense to have to pause. They did away with it in multiplayer modes for obvious reason, though you can still access your menu, this meme is just describing what it looks like.
In the multiplayer games, there is no “wait until he gets back from his pause to fight him.”
In fact, it’s way more fun to end an enemy player while they are in their pause menu. If you’re lucky, the elimination of them from the game’s round will kick them out of that game menu and make them start all over. Now you’re really getting in their heads.
22 Karma… It’s Real
When having to battle and eventually triumph over a bad guy, it should add good karma to your karma bowl. We imagine there’s a word for it, but for now, it’s a karma bowl. Similar to that of a cereal bowl that if there is too much of one ingredient, milk or cereal, it’ll be bad for everyone. No one likes a devil and no one can bear an angel.
Speaking of milk and karma, and defeating bad guys… is that the way to gain the good? By hurting people who are bad? If so then who decides who is bad and how much bad karma they need to be considered bad and worthy of accumulating good karma. It gets even more consuming when the bad guys wear all of one color. Like black or white. Used to be Black was evil and White was considered more positive. Now, it’s white equals arch-villainry and black equals anti-hero. This we like.
21 The Fundamentals Of Not Caring
This happens in the game and it makes no sense. When you’re out there trying to gobble up as many side quests as possible you sort of stopped asking the questions that come to mind. Such as… why does this guy still try and farm? How is he still alive? And why does the mission take me miles away?
These people don’t need to make sense, they just need to pay you.
Also, since it’s not the main quest objective, you don’t really feel slighted at the idea of something no making sense since you’re not as invested. Those are the worst, you get a game, many questions are raised and we hope the answers are awesome only to realize you’re nearing the end of the game and there couldn’t be anywhere near enough time left for you to learn the game’s secrets, only to realize it’s all going to be in the sequel. Betrayal.
20 Plants Need Love Too
No one can really blame a gamer wanting to make sure their crops are set up nicely before the go out on a quest or trip. It’s fair to assume that plants will continue to grow even when you’re not staring at them so why not multitask and have plants flourish while you save your kid at the same time. That way when you beat the game and the character has to go back to their terrible nuclear fallout life, they will have plants waiting for them.
That’s something that we feel is often ignored. After you beat a game like Fallout, the main character has to go back to the world of pain and sadness. The land is destroyed, most of the people are savages, and now to top it off, that character has no more purpose. We imagine they don’t make it much past the first few months.
19 It’s Just Particle Physics
It may seem a little peculiar as to what occurs when an enemy is ended in this game. Sometimes when a person is hit in the head their limbs fly off as if an explosion had occurred. But how many people have you seen shot in the head before and if the answer is more than zero, please tell us what the limbs did at that moment?
Chances are none of the readers here have ever been a witness to this sort of event so we’re just going to assume that this is exactly what happens.
Maybe we’ve just been lied to through Hollywood showmanship of people getting shot. What if the real occurrence is what happens in Fallout, limbs go flying, and the movie people decided that’s just too gruesome to show us.
18 Loot Be Found
Is this really a logic fail? Probably not. But oftentimes in games where there seems to be an extra special building in the place, chances are there’s some awesome stuff inside waiting to be stolen. But what doesn’t make sense, is that if this stuff in this great looking place is so important, how come no one else took it with them. And why do so many people know about it?
Think about it. You’re given a quest to get this important item that all these people happen to know about and they’ve waited until you came along to ever attempt to retrieve it. Maybe it’s an item that you as the gamer needs and the PCs had no use for, but that’s where the logic comes in, and there isn’t enough to go around for everyone. Just look at the deep south.
17 Get Ahead In Life
There’s got to be a person who has existed on this planet who at some point in their life survived a piece of metal in their head. If you don’t believe us, just think about the number of humans who have lived in the world in all of time. The probability is in our favor.
However bad that may be.
That being said, how is this possible? How can hitting in the head not end a person but a small tap to the arm do it? Fallout logic can be weird sometimes, but that doesn’t mean that we can just ignore everything like this. Come on, man. Give me a break. I’ve been fighting all day. That should definitely end you.
16 The Folly Of War
You can’t put down a bad guy for giving it their all when trying to defeat you no matter what the odds against them. They know you’re this intense hero with all sorts of weapons and special armor, but they can’t give up. That’s the admirable quality of NPCs, they know what their lives are about. Which is serving us or the storyline.
But you would think that the bad guys in certain games would be more tactical when approaching you for a battle. Shouldn’t they have enough intel to know rushing head first is probably a bad idea? The big issue is that when you increase the difficulty for games like these, the enemies only get stronger, not smarter.
15 Bare Is The Truth
Is it really that big of a deal when people decide to not wear clothes? Why is it that the idea of clothing and accessories hold such a heavy place in our lives. To the point where if you get unclothed in public you will be arrested. This we do not understand. There are only one of two things that a person can see that would offend them and even then, there’s a fifty percent chance its something they have themselves.
Being unclothed in public shouldn’t be a crime because you either have on your body what the bare human has on their body, or you don’t. We all know what humans look like unclothed. And if you don’t then you should take some liberties on your internet search. Just make sure you aren’t doing it at work. That’s just ridiculous. And the only reason its ridiculous is because someone one once said that companions need to wear clothing.
14 Someone’s Gotta Do It
Some things just wouldn’t get done if not for the individuals who deem it necessary to sacrifice their time to do what needs to be done. There comes a time when you decide to answer that call or to ignore it and hope one day later in life you’ll get another call when you’re more ready or financially stable.
This woman answered when destiny rang the bell.
How else is the dirt going to get to where it needs to go? Wind? You can’t depend on wind. That’s why we put motors in our boats. You can’t trust it. If for some reason you think we’re wrong, think about this. Have you ever smelled another person’s stink? Well, which of the major elements of nature do you think was responsible? It was wind.
13 Preservatives
There has to be a reason for all the preservation of food that’s going on. Hopefully, in the future, there will be sufficient science heroes out there to have created food that never goes bad. Thus cutting down on the waste used by people who tend to put too many pizza rolls in the over. Wait for a second, did any of you just for a moment think you’d put pizza rolls in the garbage. Wow. First of all, who do you think you are, you’re not a ’not finish the pizza rolls’ type human being. Second of all, couldn’t you find someone who wanted pizza rolls? We like pizza rolls. Your mother used to make them for us.
The point is having food that never goes bad may be a logic fail, but it’s not something we think is a bad thing altogether.
Imagine buying just one bag of chips ten miles long. Infinity chips. Or pizza rolls.
12 They Got The Michael Jackson
This one just makes no sense to us at all. To be sure that we aren’t forgetting to pay attention to the color of a characters skin color, we tested it. You can wear clothes in a game or basically be almost bare and the sun will have no effect on your color. Whether this is just an unnecessary mechanic, it’d be nice for games to involve sun exposure rather than just exploit it for it’s light giving capabilities.
A lot of people take the sun for granted. Namely us gamers who decide not to ever go out under it. That changed a little bit when games started getting released on our cell phones. It was at that moment that people could play video games without most of the other people around them knowing they are gamers. Because being in your thirties, in public, with a PSP is not really acceptable, unfortunately.
11 Windows Aren’t For Entering
There are often moments in games where the golden path is not always available so we take an alternate, more brown-colored path to get what we need. And then there are times where the path before you is literally blocked and next to that blocked path is a very easy way to ignore that block. But the game doesn’t allow you to do it.
Ther are games where chain-link fences deter the God of War and Batman.
There are open windows inaccessible to some of the greatest thieves or heroes ever to exist. Except that they don’t really exist and none of what they do actually matter other than the value we place on them to have influence over our lives and decide who our true heroes are. Which… is Goku?
10 Real Warriors Use Their Words
Do you really even need to fix the iron sights? Can’t you just choose another weapon to use instead? Especially considering this is the game that allows you to carry like fifty guns at a time. Most of which you are saving for a time that will never happen because you’re too overpowered anyway for it to get to that point of danger anyway.
The maintaining of power armor is something that every young child of the wasteland should know how to do. Think about it, the people who wear power armor are often the ones who need it the most. That would make it be part of the economy and therefore most children probably have parents involved with building selling or fixing them.
9 Color Is Overrated
We understand the whole idea of keeping the before part of the game more or less similar to the fifties. But what we don’t get is the personalize robots. It really doesn’t make sense that the type of coding that would go into making robots talk and do fun human helping stuff would exist in the world but not the thing where pixels exist and can create colors on a screen.
Actually, it makes plenty of sense.
How many of you out there know how to build and create a colored television or any type of screen that has the pixels and light diodes to make a screen. Probably none of you. Just taking advantage of the technology slaved over by others and using it for your benefit. Sounds like the typical millennial betrayal.
8 Where Is The Energizer Bunny?
It would be pretty convenient and not make a lot of sense if the entire game’s world had a single type of battery or fueling piece that fit into just about everything. Oh, wait, yeah it would. We all know the anger we feel in real life when you need double A batteries and all you have in the house is triple A. The fury is so real and you begin to question why there isn’t just a single common battery type for all items that need batteries.
Last time we checked most doors are the same size. Most cans of soda are the same size. What is up with all these people out there trying to be different and make life more inconvenient for the lazy ones of us who thought the way the people lived in the Movie Wall-E wasn’t so bad. You know… the fat pod/slug people who roll around on flying chairs chilling hard all day. Awesome.
7 Don’t Even Worry About Them Isotopes
The game picks and chooses what gives the character radiation poisoning and what doesn’t. It’s fine, we get it, you don’t like to make sense, but why not just make the player create a device that stores radioactive materials as a way to fall in line with logic?
It could even be a small sidequest involving a new backpack and stuff.
Then again, radiation is one of those early game issues where after you get strong enough and have all the right healing items, nothing really bothers you besides Deathclaws. And even after a while, those don’t cause much fuss anymore either. We remember a time where Deathclaw hunting was the only fun thing left to do in some of the games. That time was yesterday.
6 Must Build
A developer can never know what players will spend most of their time doing in a game because they never know what those players are going to find most enjoyable. So in games where you have to build stuff and go around finding items that involved the creation of those things you want to build, you look for adhesives and screws.
Not a big deal, really. You don’t have to literally spend time looking only for those dumb items. They often just end up as items you are always keeping an eye out for when doing other stuff. To the point where you’ll look anywhere in every town or building, you visit on the off chance that there will be the little pieces of crap that you need. Sort of like looking for a girlfriend. We are so alone.
5 Water Is Life
This is an important myth to debunk. If you fall into the ocean and you happen to be really thirsty, just start drinking. Eventually, you’ll probably drink so much water that you’ll empty the ocean and be standing on some pretty cool mountains or even and an alien spaceship. Because let’s be realistic, if aliens crashed on this planet, they probably landed in the water. Due to them being thirsty of course.
Aliens need water too.
Or maybe some sort of liquid that their bodies are mostly made of that hey drink to feel better but also can breathe. Maybe the alien form of water is lava or something like that, and they drink lava to stay alive. Actually no, that’s really dumb and we’re sorry you had to read about our dreams of one-day drinking lava and dipping our buffalo wings in it.
