It would be fruitless to try and pick too many holes in the DC Universe. I mean, when it’s literally about superhumans, heroes, and aliens with superpowers, you can’t really point out all the silly things that don’t make sense. Or can you?
Everything has plot holes. Your favorite book probably has a plot hole somewhere. It’s a truth we all must acknowledge and once you admit it about your favorite fandom, I’m sure you’ll love it all the more. Plot holes are great; they show how our favorite authors are humans like the rest of us, and how even the greats can make mistakes or let things slip by. The DC characters might not be humans themselves, but they’re written by humans, so the odd plot hole is perfectly natural.
DC is one of those timeless, ageless fandoms that everyone can be part of. I had a Batman shirt when I was a kid, two when I was a teenager and two as an adult! DC has created so many superheroes over the last eighty years, that there is one for everyone and so many adventures to enjoy. But with so many adventures, comes a lot of problems. DC writers may think that they make the rules, but eagle-eyed nit-pickers like me and always on hand to find something off.
25 Don’t Bother With The Masks
Even as a small child, I didn’t understand this. I guess I just didn’t have enough wonder to accept that people didn’t know that Clark was Superman! I could barely accept that no-one could tell who Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl were when they just had those small masks across their eyes. Superman and Wonder Woman didn’t even bother!
People have tried to explain that Clark Kent is so unlike Superman that no-one would dare suspect that he was a superhero. But that’s just silly. Imagine if Jeff from accounting was on TV last night lifting a school bus off a lava pit, wearing a costume but with his face exposed. There is no way he could walk into the office tomorrow with a pair of classes and carry on with numbers or whatever.
24 Bat Wealth
Batman is my favorite and always has been. I still watch Adam West (R.I.P.) and Burt Ward prancing around in tights with the same wonder as it did when I was a small child. But you can’t deny, that a billionaire with the wealth of Bruce Wayne could maybe have been spent on better things than a Batmobile and a Batcave. Can you imagine how much the Batcave must have cost? What if instead of the Batcave, he financed public schools and gave the citizens of Gotham free healthcare! Maybe with well-financed mental illness facilities, Gotham wouldn’t have as many villains wandering around the streets, with bizarre plans aimed more at chaos than financial gains. But sure, Bruce, you dress up and run around. I’m sure that’s the best thing you can do.
Comic by Sephko.
23 Bat Policies
Batman’s policy not to finish anyone off may seem noble on paper, but when you begin to analyze it, you can’t help but question it a little more. Batman, being the “good guy,” claims that he doesn’t want to do any real harm to anyone. It’s understandable, being something that (at least originally) aimed to be child-friendly, wouldn’t want to portray their title characters as someone who would do something like that. I’m certainly not pro-corporal punishment, and I’d certainly be confused if Batman openly declared that someone did need to perish.
But although he doesn’t say it, a lot of his actions could really have the side-effects of an endless sleep. A lot of his weapons could easily push someone off their mortal coil.
22 Stronger Than Steel
Everyone needs to know this. I need to blow this up on motivational posters and hang them around schools! You are stronger than Superman! I know if you get down into technicalities, a human couldn’t do all the things that Superman does (and I’m not just talking about flying. Not that steel can fly unaided.) And when writing something, you can’t really look into all the science, theories and discoveries. You’d like to, but sometimes you need to be realistic. We know that the “Steel” is metaphoric, meaning something strong (but if you made something of steel and put it through what Superman went through then it wouldn’t survive.)
But just remember that steel isn’t perfect. It can be molded, shaped, or broken. Superman isn’t perfect. Whenever you feel weak or worthless, just remember that you are five times stronger than Superman!
21 To Riches
One of the reasons why I’ve always loved Batman is because he doesn’t have superpowers. He was a regular human who had made himself a superhero, which can convince a small child that they can be a superhero too. Of course, you grow up and realize that his powers and gadgets are the result of him being privileged and rich like you will never be, but when you’re young you’re able to fantasize.
I’ve never thought that Batman could lose to Superman based on his lack of “superpowers.” It may interest people to know that in the British Natural History Museum, they have a giant rock that has the same chemical structure of kryptonite. Do you know who could probably afford that if he wanted to?
20 They’re All Superheroes
The moral of this comic is, that there is no point arguing about which superhero could beat which. One of the reasons why I rolled my eyes at Batman v Superman.
All superheroes have powers and technology that makes them powerful in different ways, but all of these depend on context. That’s why they have villains that are tailored to them! Otherwise, there would just be one generic supervillain for everybody to defeat. But nope, they all have different strength and weaknesses and have villains who hit their weaknesses, but ultimately get defeated by the hero’s strengths. You can argue about which hero would beat who and how it’s stupid that one hero defeated another, but at the end of the day, it’s just going to come down to who is the most popular hero.
Comic by Mordecaiser123.
19 Spare The Villain
This is probably the best defence I can give to Batman’s aforementioned policy. After all, maybe it’s just for caution. You can hardly justify violence when you you’ve ploughed your way through hundreds of henchmen just to get to the bad guy! It’s hard to have sympathy for someone after they’ve just caused the demise of a lot of people, who probably didn’t know that much about the villains plans and were helpless pawns in their operation.
I’m sure revelations like this are important. There is something about villains (or Green Arrow) eventually realising their good and joining forces with the hero, that makes it acceptable throughout the ages. But how come after they realise this, there slate is suddenly wiped clean? Does no-one want to be the guy to bring up their questionable past?
18 Their Old Looks
The bright blue, tight costume of Adam West can be hard to compare to the black, hard armor that Batman wears nowadays. Things progress as time does, obviously. After all, you can’t take someone out of the sixties and put them straight into the 2010s! They’d look incredibly out of place and would be very confused as to why everyone was dressed the way they were and what those strange screens were that they kept staring at like zombies.
But Wonder Woman seemed to be the only superhero movie that didn’t give their hero a complete makeover. Sure, Diana looked more Xena than traditional blue and red Wonder Woman, but her costume and style were basically the same. But Batman and Superman have darker armor and a very different look.
17 Hurray For Aquaman
Speaking of superhero makeovers, no one’s had a bigger overhaul than Aquaman! When I saw him for the first time in the new Justice League movie, I couldn’t believe it was him. Gone was the delightfully campy costume he had in the old comics, replaced with this dark, mysterious stranger.
Aquaman is the butt of a lot of jokes! He’s openly mocked on TV shows like The Big Bang Theory and Family Guy and called the worst of the Justice League. But why? Oceans cover seventy percent of our planet’s surface and ninety-seven percent of our water comes from the ocean. We know more about space than we do about the very bottom of the ocean. Think about how big a blue whale is; there could be something even bigger down there that we don’t know about. And it has Aquaman’s back!
16 Batman’s Gadgets
Okay, I promise Batman really is my favorite. That’s why I’ve picked so many holes in it, because I know so much about it. If we’ve learned anything in recent years, or even recent months, then we all know that guns are bad. You can talk about how it’s not the weapon, it’s the people, but to quote the great Eddie Izzard: “I think the gun helps.” The fewer weapons we have access to, then the fewer people will perish as a result.
Batman knows this, that’s why he says no guns. It’s just a pity he’s a hypocrite! Honestly, I’m just poking fun, but if you read golden age Batman, you’ll see he uses guns all the time! And I’m pretty sure the latest Batmobile has two great big cannons on it.
15 Clark’s Glasses
Yes, I mentioned this earlier, but it’s just too silly to let go! Sure, the secret identities of other heroes aren’t that hard to crack- Aquaman didn’t even try to hide his face, neither did Wonder Woman. But in my opinion, doing nothing is less laughable than putting on a pair of glasses and pretending that you’ve put some effort into it. You haven’t. In fact, the fact that you’ve tried so poorly makes you even more obvious.
If I hung out with Clark Kent every day, I’d figure out that he was Superman. I know that’s easy for me to say as I don’t know any superheroes (at least I think I don’t) but if I saw someone’s face on the news every day then turned to my friend wearing glasses… I’d be pretty annoyed at myself if I didn’t see it.
14 Batman’s Voice
As we’ve already established, Batman has a lot of money. That’s his whole thing. He can afford to have a Batcave built secretly, have a customized Batmobile, have all the Bat-themed weapons he can think up… but can’t afford a voice modifier.
We have this technology and it isn’t even that expensive. I know a lot of sound engineers or video editors who have them just in case! So, I’m pretty sure that Batman could have one specially made just for him. If he liked he could have it made Bat-themed. That gruff voice that Batman picked up at some point may be a good extra step to disguise his voice, but it must be hell on his throat! By the time he’s done with all the hero-ing, his throat must be sore.
13 Wonderous Logic
I know, if I start questioning why Diana speaks perfect English, then I have to start questioning why so many people from so many other fandoms speak English. Why do all the French kids in Bon Voyage Charlie Brown speak perfect English? That one’s been bothering me for years! But given that Wonder Woman’s society has probably been around longer than the invention of the English language, I don’t know why they’d speak it.
Also, why do we as humans have this phobia of body hair in movies? Particularly when it comes to women. As humans, we have more hair on our bodies than a chimpanzee, it’s just shorter and finer. We all have hair, so stop acting like we don’t, it won’t make hair go away.
12 Why So Mysterious?
Why do superheroes have to show off all the time? It’s not like we don’t already think their superheroes. It’s not like we’re all going to become crazed fans, screaming “Oh my God, Batman uses the door just like us!” At least no more than we already are.
Why doesn’t Batman liked to use the door in front of the Commissioner? Is he worried that if he sees him walk out the door he’ll be like: “Oh my god! You walk outdoors just like Bruce Wayne, you’re totally Bruce!” Batman, you don’t always have to be mysterious. We’ll still be impressed with your bat-like aura if you learn to leave a room like a normal person. You’d save a lot of time, time that could be put towards finally catching the Joker.
11 But He Hates Bats
The Batman hates bats thing it a little bit of a mixed bag. On one hand, it’s a pretty good cover up, as you wouldn’t associate someone who didn’t like something with someone apparently obsessed with them. I suspect if someone came out at night posing as “That Weird Candelabra from Beauty and the Beast Person”, people who knew me probably wouldn’t think it was me straight away.
Then again if I was a billionaire in a small city with access to technology and resources that nobody else could possibly get their hands on, I would probably be the first suspect, despite my known fears. Given that Batman’s one of the competently disguised heroes from the DC Universe, I’m sure his secret identity is a lot more difficult to figure out, but I don’t think hating bats would keep it hidden forever.
Comic by TastesLikeAnya.
10 Environmental Aquaman
Another take on my opinion that Aquaman is a lot more powerful than people give him credit for! If you keep on teasing Aquaman and calling him useless, then he will doom us all. He could end us in a second by pulling up some demon from the ocean, drowning the world and destroying everything we own. Or he could go for a longer, more devastating destruction.
As much as the conservatives try to deny it, our planet is in trouble. We are developing technology too quickly, using resources that our planet can’t keep giving us and releasing more c02 then the planet can handle. With his connections to the ocean, Aquaman could help us save the planet, by keeping the oceans clean. Or he could be behind all of this and is destroying the planet himself!
9 In Memoriam
Whenever someone shuffles off their mortal coil in the world of DC, I never really believe they’re gone for good. Even if Batman hangs up their suit in memoriam, there’s always a chance they’ll come back. There have just been so many twist endings and so many superhumans clawing their way back in, turning up in rooms to the loud gasps of surprised crowds for it to be a shock at this point. No superhero is truly gone because they’ll probably be back at some point!
That’s why, as much as this made me laugh, it probably would have been acceptable for Batman to just shrug this one off. I know that Robin idolizes him and he has to live up to that, but you don’t have to act like you are all-knowing, Batman.
Comic by Shortpacked.
8 Superman’s World
It’s so convenient for the villains of comics to stay, mostly, in the cities where the superheroes live. It’s not like the rest of the world is suffering. Superman is strong, can fly wherever he likes and it basically indestructible. So why doesn’t he rescue people trapped in a volcanic eruption? Why doesn’t he rescue a town about to be devastated by a tsunami? I’m sure there is something he could do about the massive of places devastated by drought and hunger. But no, sure, much more horrific things are happening in your hometown right now.
If Superman wants to stay in America and be a hero exclusively for locals, then that’s absolutely fine. Just don’t stand there and say you’re saving the world, because that’s a pretty big order.
7 Perils Of 2016
2016 was a pretty horrible year for a lot of people. We had to say goodbye to a lot of beloved celebrities, including David Bowie and Alan Rickman, Britain declared their intentions to leave the EU, despite only having a two percent majority vote from the public and a vile man was promised the presidency despite not winning the popular vote.
If one thing reflected what a terrible year 2016 was going to be, it was the superhero movies. I’m not calling them bad… that’s for you to decide. But it was a year when superheroes started fighting each other (for reasons not sufficient enough for me) and villains joined forces. I know we can’t blame superhero movies for the way the world is heading, but the films of 2016 were pretty symbolic of it.
6 Weak Spots
Yes, we had to talk about this at some point now, didn’t we? This wasn’t so much a problem when Batman was a happy fun character in a blue spandex costume running around and getting into some scrapes with the same villains. But when he modernized his look a little bit and got all that fancy armor, villains had to start looking for weak spots in his armor. This lead to every DC fan collectively saying: “Why don’t they just get him in the mouth?”
I mean, there is no reason why it wouldn’t work, right? That’s a pretty vulnerable area, connecting the tools you need to breathe and your brain with the rest of your body. And there’s literally no armor covering it. That’s pretty much a weak spot.
