Consoles have been one of the greatest additions to human life since perhaps the television. One may seem to think that the television made the gaming console possible, but they’re wrong. It was Odin. That’s right. And not that we have any evidence that this is true or anything, but it’s not like you can prove us wrong. That being said, we think video games should be enjoyed by all, especially the indigenous populations that have yet to be introduced to technology. Give them the good stuff… like buffalo wings.
Hopefully, in the future, the console wars will finally end and they’ll stop with the harm and drone strikes on random company buildings and CEOs. Until then, we must choose our side and for those of you who actually do choose a side, we hope you enjoy the lesser graphics as opposed to a PC. For real, PCs cost way more but they can last up to 10 years, being able to play many of the new games. It’s sort of like when you go to Five Guys instead of Mcdonald’s. They’re both burgers, but one is better than the other.
Speaking of that, are memes and GIFs the new form of internet spew? Perhaps the random explosiveness acts as a binding agent for our hopes and dreams. Video game… memes… the internet… All together in one bowl of unity and love. Sometimes science is more art than anything else.
25 Desperation Is A Stinky Cologne
This is the case with many bosses, and there is plenty of logic to it. Oftentimes in video games, you’ll be questing across the land with quite a few rare items or powerful weapons tucked away. You have them tucked away because when you need them, you need to make sure they’re ready to go. Can’t just go waltzing around with your best stuff geared up.
So it makes total sense for a super strong boss character to hold his cards until the end.
Think of the situation here… this boss is probably some special being that either lives for fighting or is so dedicated to stopping you that they know it’s going to be a rough one. So they try to poke you about with their techniques. And if the weak attacks don’t help, they try the harder more desperate actions.
24 The Turtle Technique
Fortnite is one of those games that has gained popularity in the last few months. Part of that is the entertaining gameplay that seems to work great as viral videos, the other part is the new game type that has been introduced. So we all know what PUBG is, right? With the Battle Royale type gameplay, the enclosing map, and the randomness of the weapons. It’s great stuff. But it obviously has something in common with Fortnite.
The building aspect of Fortnite is what really separates the two games. That, and they look a bit different. But the funniest situation is when you’re getting shot at and have no idea where from, you just build and escape. It’s such an interesting concept that we wonder why it wasn’t introduced sooner? Probably was, but some CEO laughed a good idea out of the pitch meeting. Primitives.
23 When Dom Went, We Did Too
Going to have to get personal here. When I first played Gears Of War, I was ecstatic over how great it was. The idea that Xbox finally had another amazing series on their console. I was skeptical about its third person aspect when first person was clearly becoming the new dominant type. The visuals, the characters, and the gameplay were incredibly awesome.
But they were nothing compared to the story.
For a while, Gears of War was just a solid game on a now solid platform. I had the luxury of playing through all three games at once with a friend. It was a marathon. The passing of Dom hit at the perfect moment in the quest for story completion. They did it well, and it was the closest to a film or television intense drama scene as I’ve experienced in any game ever.
22 Leon: The Professional
This isn’t really fair, considering they may not have had ironclad info regarding where the president’s daughter was. Everyone thinks it’s so easy to act on intel in hindsight. It’s idiotic to expect such cut and dry results. A piece of intel from some local who, might I add, has no stock in helping out our President’s daughter. That piece of intel then gets passed to some guy in a suit somewhere who then decides they should send the hero of Raccoon City.
Okay, so it doesn’t really make sense. Or does it? Leon has survived some crazy stuff, so it would make sense that he was the top dude sent in. Sending Leon was a tactical response that wouldn’t do any harm. Except as soon as Leon gets there, stuff goes down and he’s in it for the super long haul.
21 Gandalf Senses Evil
Gandalf is just saying what we’ve all once thought. Whether you’re down deep in a dungeon, or you’re about to walk into a giant castle, the developers want you all at full strength so there are no excuses to your loss in the upcoming battle. They gave you what you needed. Another indicator that something’s about to go down is a save point, for real.
We’re talking about the Final Fantasy saves where you have to come across a random terminal or rainbow colored question mark.
The game is basically screaming to you that if you don’t utilize the save here, then there is a huge chance you’ll regret it. Sometimes when this sort of stuff occurs in a game it takes the stakes out of the upcoming battle. the best games are the ones you barely survive.
20 Khajiit Love Their Boxes
Oh my god, look at how attractive that kitty is in that box. Maybe the word attractive wasn’t really the best choice in this situation, but we’re sticking by it. We’re not going to say cute because that’s a big kitty and it’s trying to run a business. You must show respect for this slice of love to sell his wares. Otherwise, he will become a dirt merchant, and no one wants that.
Speaking of dirt merchants, there actually are people who sell dirt out there in the world. Ben Affleck called someone a dirt merchant in a Kevin Smith film and used it as an insult. It was hilarious, but then it makes you think that real dirt merchants probably aren’t bad people. They might even make good money selling dirt to idiots.
19 Music You Can’t Dance To
One of the greatest aspects of Fallout games was the radio you could listen to in the early stages of the game where you had to walk for miles. When there were no fast travel points and you just had to hoof it. There was a cute radio station to be put on and the music was very catchy. Incredibly catchy, actually.
Except there were only a few songs to listen to.
After a while the songs get old and you realize that you no longer get to enjoy the early love of those songs anymore because they’ve been so overplayed that you must never listen to them again. It has something to do with torture. Imagine playing the same song over and over again for like a year and then being electrocuted. You might end up hating that song. This is what happens to the character you play as in Fallout.
18 Spend Money To Make Money
Not really sure why this is considered weird or wrong. If someone wrongs you, no matter what that wrong is, you have the right to wrong others in pursuit of your wronger. That may seem to you like a way to create a plethora of wronged individuals but what you are not understanding is that if you eliminate them, there’s nothing they can do. The wronger in that situation of righting the wrong that was proposed to you by wronging others.
It may seem complex but it’s very simple. To be dishonored is a terrible situation. The wake of that is not the player’s fault. So really this meme is sort of calling to attention how much perfect sense this game makes. Good job, meme, you’ve done something of worth this day.
17 Disco Inferno
Yeah, but it’s really thick wood that’s always wet or something like that. Actually, none of this makes sense. Why would you capture dragons in wood? It’s flat out baby town frolics. Any dragon would have to recognize the things in their world that are flammable. It would probably be a special sense of theirs that they can detect what around them is able to be burned.
But really, this makes very little sense.
In a place surrounded by rocks and mountains, why wouldn’t you make this cage out of stone? Even if the thing has stood for hundreds of years without being used, having it burnt to the ground would still be a loss. It looks like a great place for a picnic. And we all know dragons love picnics.
16 Our Own Personal Preacher
Yes… yes we do have a moment to talk about him. The question is, will you listen? Probably not, because you’re most likely a barbarian without faith and only believe in video games. In which case we have a fruit basket for you for your devotion to the kingdom of Sony-Microsoft-Nintendo.
Can this dude stretch through walls, or is it a glitch? We’re guessing it’s a glitch and this character was unfortunate enough to never get a chance in battle. It’s always a treat when you have an enemy slightly glitching through a door and you can shoot him with no fear of repercussions. It’s the sort of thing that happens in games with a lot of content or really lazy developers. If video games were too real we’d hate them too. Sort of like how we hate reality.
15 Tactical Buttering
This is actually an accurate example of how to butter bread. It’s also an accurate example of how knives are supposed to be used at all times, like when checking to see if an outlet still has electricity. But it’s true, certain games to tend to bleed into our understanding and execution of real-life activities.
The worst of those is definitely the driving freedom you experience in GTA.
You can’t really transfer that sort of craziness to the real world and its one of the most heartbreaking realizations many of us will live to know. Call Of Duty, on the other hand, makes us all think that in a war scenario, we would be able to survive and pwn noobs for hours at a time. The problem is, in war, there really aren’t any noobs. Unless you count the ROTC.
14 Gears Of Issues
Oh, it sure does, matey. You’re a flat out savage who deserves to live in the cold climates of Siberia. Where the tigers are thirty feet long and carry knives. And we’re not talking about their claws. These tigers actually know how to smelt metal and create edged weapons, edged weapons that they carry in all four hands… paws.
No, it doesn’t make you bad if color schemes involving darker skin is closer in range to that of the enemy. It just shows that you’re the type of warrior who shoots first and reloads the game later when you eliminate your friends who love you. For this scenario to be bad, the gamer would need to have destroyed Cole because he is black. In which case you’re awful and better stay inside your house for your own safety.
13 Gruntpocalypse
All the more reason for at least one of them to be a beast-mode titan of war. This guy is definitely a Grunt or, more specifically an Unggoy, in the bottom picture. Whether it’s a coincidence or just simply a mistake, we’re not sure.
The idea of this being a way to motivate others to follow their dreams is a wonderful thing.
If even the lowest of ugly mutant creatures can grow into a boss, then so can you. And so can I. But I won’t because I like video games and sleeping too much. Still, you’ve got to take your motivation from where you can get it, right?
12 The Longest Game
If you’re one of those people who has to go through every single side quest to get as close to 100% completion of possible, then you know what this meme’s all about. There have been times when we’ve finished games that were so awesome, so perfect for that time of our lives, that we were left feeling useless as the game faded to black.
The Witcher 3 is definitely one of those games. You can keep going back to it for years and never come close to beating the main storyline. That has nothing to do with your resolve as a gamer, there’s just so much to do. It’s a game that has it all really, and you can get lost in its greatness, so much so that you write articles about it for your job and consider not finishing an article to go play more of the game…
11 Feels Like Someone Is Watching
Multiple Online Battle Arena games are a new addition to the world of nerds and noobs. Games like Overwatch, Team Fortress 2, and Paladins have the unique scenarios where you can walk right up to your enemy’s base and peer through the window. Before the battle starts, one team needs to push a payload from their base and the other team has to stop them.
This gives the enemy team the opportunity to set up an ambush on the payload pushers’ front porch.
It’s funny sometimes when you’re waiting to run out those gates into the fray, and you get the chance to hide from the enemy peeping toms. Them looking in, trying to watch you undress, you hiding away from the window, protecting your modest nature. All for the timer to run double-zero and all heck breaks loose. In their faces.
10 We Live Long Enough To Become Noobs
First of all, there’s nothing wrong with being a hacker. They are the people who keep games interesting and make sure that we all don’t use the same passwords for every single email and username we have. Hackers may have once been noobs, but that doesn’t mean that they deserve any less respect because of their origins.
Noobs are a great part of games, sort of like freshman in high school on a football team. The young guys get duct taped to benches as a way of hazing. When they grow up into juniors or seniors, they do the same thing to the young guys. Well, at least until the anti-bullying stuff started and ruined that for all the closet case jock dirtbags. High school was awful. Some of us needed Halo to make it through.
9 Swimming Is Overrated
Speaking of the greatness of Halo and the Master Chief, we get caught up in how powerful he was or is. But the fact that he couldn’t survive in water never made sense but we took it anyway. All the other things that Master Chief has to go through, maybe his suit needs to disregard water survival in place of laser defense and whatnot.
Master Chief doesn’t need to swim like he doesn’t need to adhere to logic.
Compared to all the other heroes of video games, Master Chief is probably the most heroic. The things he does for humanity and for Cortana are nearly always a dangerous mission. But does he care? No, he jumps out of spaceships, blows up planets, and doesn’t need to stop to drink, eat, or sleep. Unless of course, his suit does all that for him. In which case, where’s mine?
8 Video Games Should Be Enjoyed Outdoors
Playing outside is overrated. The reason we say this is because there are all sorts of dangerous things in the world, like bears, and they live where? Outside. So what’s the point of going outside if there are things like bears waiting to destroy you? You can stay inside and let the console’s great warmth cascade over your supple skin with their loving embrace.
Or you can be a genius human and just set up a TV outdoors. Maybe the glare will be annoying, but at least you’ll be getting vitamin D. With the advances of technology, it should be possible to bring a tv outside in broad daylight and not worry about something like glare. Where is Elon Musk when you need him? Sending rockets into space with cars on them. Which is awesome.
7 Why Is That?
Can’t Jump. Won’t Jump. Doesn’t need to jump. We’ll stick with he can jump, but chooses not to because jumping is something that people who don’t wear suits do. Consider the ideas that are taken for granted. Running, walking, jumping, etc. This guy just doesn’t have enough buttons.
Do any of us have enough buttons?
If only we were controlled by a little person in our heads with a PS4 controller. What would they make us do? Probably illegal stuff, and slothy stuff. Slothy meaning like sitting around and playing video games and breaking the records for both the amount of Doritos eaten in one sitting and the amount of Doritos shoved into one’s mouth at a time. We’ve eaten four million Doritos yesterday.
6 PC Master Race
Oh yeah… This is going to be another PC master race rant. But so what. The truth is there for the taking and absorbing. There are some games out there that are so heavy on a system that the difference in video card means an entirely different gaming experience altogether. That’s just between different gaming computers themselves. Don’t even get us started on the difference between consoles and PC.
Okay, you got us started. The port of PUBG on some of the consoles downgraded from a PC looks like a PlayStation 2 game. The console will always be behind PCs until they eventually just have the PS6 as a desktop. Which they should. We honestly can’t wait until the games get better and the consoles get cheaper so we can own all the games at once and not have to do math when deciding which games are worth it.
