Not everything has to make sense with video games. If the games we play rigorously adhered to the laws and forces governing our world, it would be extremely realistic, but probably too rigid to be completely enjoyable. That’s why games often employ shortcuts, or completely discard realism to provide a more fun experience. In order to make sense, video games just have to be consistent with their own internal logic.

The Legend of Zelda series is a great example of that. The pieces of heart, the intricately designed dungeons, the magic permeating Hyrule; all of it is part of its own set of rules that we accept when we start our journey in that world. Still, there are sometimes where the break from common sense can be a bit jarring, or when the game’s own logic does not seem to be respected. Other times, it might simply be a plot point which leaves us with more questions than answers by avoiding an explanation. Thankfully, these are not distracting enough to take most players out of the game, but it’s still fun to look at them and ponder while we try to fill the holes in the logic ourselves.

This list takes a look at 25 things in The Legend of Zelda series that can be weird, puzzling, or even confusing. We will use all of our knowledge to try to find an explanation for these items. Some of these will not make sense at all, but that’s the magic of Zelda: That the games are good enough for us to accept the absurd.

25 Privacy, Please

I don’t keep a diary. I don’t know anyone that keeps one. Maybe it’s because people don’t write as much as they used to, or because all of the oversharing on social networks has taken the place of what used to be a more personal affair.

Do you know who’s super into writing diaries? Pretty much everyone who has ever lived in Hyrule.

Princess Zelda has one, the Old Man on the mountain has one, pretty much every other house in any village has a diary lying around.

What’s weird is not that people are into keeping a detailed account of their own lives. I’m sure that’s a healthy habit. What’s strange is that everyone is just leaving their diaries out in the open. It’s a problem that has been true since at least A Link To The Past, but it has gotten even worse with Breath of the Wild. The people in that game just leave their diaries everywhere, and the books are always wide open: in abandoned buildings, on a table in a stable, or even out in the open on top of a mountain, you will find a diary waiting there for you to read it. I understand that it’s important for exposition and story advancement, and that Link is part of the problem for reading all of them, but it’s still one really weird habit of the inhabitants of Hyrule.

24 A Disaster Waiting To Happen

Bombs have been a trademark of The Legend of Zelda since the original game came out in 1987. Some games have tampered with the concept somewhat, but they always function the same way. Ocarina of Time and Skyward Sword, in particular, put forward the concept that bombs actually are crops that grow from flowers near Death Mountain or Eldin Volcano. These bomb flowers are extremely sensitive and are ready to blow at the slightest change in their environment. They will explode if they are near fire, or if they are hit by something heavy, or if they are detached from their plant, or if another flower explodes nearby.

Here’s where I get a bit confused: if bomb flowers grow on Death Mountain, which is an active volcano, it means that there’s a real proximity to lava. Skyward Sword, in particular, has shown bomb flowers growing right next to lakes of lava. So once again, if these bomb flowers react to fire… then why isn’t there more bomb flower-related accidents in places like Goron City? One more thing: The Gorons live near where bomb flowers grow, and it has been demonstrated that these guys are basically made of rock, and that the bombs’ main function is to break rocks into rubble! I don’t know, but it feels like a major disaster waiting to happen. Almost like someone who’s allergic to bees going to live in the middle of a bee colony.

23 Theory Of Relativity

Games like The Legend of Zelda ask us to assume that either the main character is super strong and can carry an insane amount of weapons and items, or that the character’s pockets are an infinite abyss unregulated by the laws of physics. That’s fine, I’m sure we have all accepted it by this point and that we know it’s something that has to be done for adventure games to stay fun and not just become an inventory-managing simulation. Still, there’s one thing that has stuck with me for a while, and a quick search on the internet made me realize that I am not alone.

In Ocarina of Time and Twilight Princess, Link can acquire a pair of Iron Boots, the purpose of which is usually to allow him to walk at the bottom of lakes and rivers. When he puts on the Iron Boots, he sinks in the water. However, when he removes them and stash them back in his infinite pockets, he can float and swim just fine. So the pockets not only have an endless amount of space, they also completely nullify an object’s physical properties? It doesn’t really matter in the end, as long as Link remembers to put on his blue shirt because taking our his Iron Boots, because as we all know, a blue shirt will allow anyone to breathe underwater just fine.

22 #Selfie

The Sheikah Slate in Breath of the Wild is probably the best item in the entire series. It’s a single tablet which produces an infinite number of bombs, it can work as a magnet, it can even stop most things, be it living creatures or machine, dead in their tracks. Finally, it also has a nifty camera feature which can take some really good pictures. You can use those to fill the Hyrule Compendium, which is basically an encyclopedia of every items, enemies, and animals which can be found in the land. The camera also allows Link to take selfies, and that’s when things get strange.

The selfie feature allows Link to take poses where both hands are free, and you can even zoom all the way out if you want to see your character from head to toe.

So wait, who’s holding the Sheikah Slate when that happens?

Does it have a built-in drone feature that we don’t know about? And if so why isn’t this playable? It has to be a drone, because the only other explanation I can think of is that Link is super quick when it comes to deploying a tripod, and that he can then control it with his mind to zoom in or out. You tell me which one makes more sense.

21 The Gerudo Way Of Life

The mystery of the Gerudo has been going on since Ocarina of Time, but thankfully Breath of the Wild has shed some light on the tribe’s way of life. The game confirms the long-held belief that the Gerudo ladies, who somehow only give birth to girls except for one boy every 100 years or so, have to go outside the village to find a mate, or “voe” if you use their language. That’s when they do their business together, and then the Gerudo go back to their village to raise the kid, and the cycle starts over.

Now I am no genetics expert, but I would assume that if a Gerudo was to mate with a Hylian, then the baby would look at least half-Hylian, right? Instead, most of the kids we see in Gerudo Town look distinctly Gerudo-esque. Furthermore, we see that other than the Gerudos, Hyrule is inhabited by Hylians (humans), Zoras (fish people), Ritos (bird people), Gorons (rock people), and then a bunch of monsters. We also know that unions between the different species are possible, since Mipha, the princess of the Zora, was in love with Link before the Calamity happened. The people of Hyrule don’t seem to think that the other species are that weird. So why does every Gerudo look like a Gerudo and nothing else? You know what I mean?

There should be more half-fish people in Gerudo Town, is what I’m saying.

20 The World’s Smartest Kid

This particularly memorable part of Twilight Princess makes no sense at all, but I still love it dearly because of the absurdist humour. First of all, meet Malo, the youngest of the Ordon Village kids. He is four years old, and has a face which permanently looks like an angry Cabbage Patch Kid. He also happens to be the smartest boy in the world, one who apparently possesses a deep knowledge of mathematics and economics as well as a keen business acumen.

When Malo gets saved along with the other Ordon Village kids in Kakariko Village, he decides that the best use of his time is not to return to his parents, but to open up a shop in the town’s abandoned building. Eventually, he raises funds to repair the nearest bridge, and then expands his retail empire by taking over the Hyrule Castle Town shop. Malo is like a toddler version of Walmart. His flagship location even possesses all the characteristics of the chain: there’s a greeter at the entrance, the prices are cheaper, and the employees sing and dance while you shop (at least Walmart employees should sing and dance if they don’t already). With the child’s head barely sticking out from behind the counter, Malo Mart has to be the cutest (and probably the most ridiculous) shop in all of Hyrule.

19 A Chicken And Egg Situation

All right, let’s see if I can get through this explanation without getting a headache. In Ocarina of Time, you learn the not-all-that-useful but super fun Song of Storm by listening to it as an adult. Some guy in Kakariko Village’s windmill is playing it with an accordion, or a hurdy-gurdy, or just a music box (I’m not very good at music), and he claims that he himself learned it from a young kid who kinda looked like you, but seven years earlier, and that made him super angry because it messed up his place.

With that knowledge in hand, you then travel back in time to exactly seven years ago, where you go into the Kakariko Village windmill to meet the guy who is already playing his musical instrument.

You play the Song of Storm for him since he doesn’t know it (although the song is playing in the background the whole time).

This, in turn, teaches him the song and messes up the place so he can complain about it later (though he technically already did). This way, in seven years time, the Windmill Man will, in turn, be able to teach the song to Link, so that Link can then travel back in time to teach him the song, and…

There we go, I’m having a nosebleed again.

18 Big Brother Is Watching

In Ocarina of Time, once Link gets stuck in the Sacred Realm after pulling the Master Sword out if its pedestal, things go really bad for the rest of Hyrule. In the span of seven years, Ganondorf is able to build a gigantic tower on top of the old Hyrule Castle, while also keeping busy by freezing Zora Domain or imprisoning the Gorons in the Fire Temple. One goal which he isn’t able to accomplish, however, is finding Princess Zelda and bringing her to his brand new and super goth tower. To escape Ganondorf’s clutch, Zelda has been masquerading as Sheik for seven years. When she meets Link again, she makes him do a bunch of stuff before finally revealing that, yes, she is indeed Zelda. At that point, she is immediately trapped in a crystal by Ganondorf and taken away.

So, I have several questions concerning all of this: For his kidnapping to be this prompt, does it mean that Ganondorf was watching Zelda with his magic the whole time? Was his magic unable to detect it was Zelda underneath the Sheik disguise? Does that mean that Zelda never removed her Sheik clothes for seven years? I know that in medieval times, people didn’t shower of bathe that often, and the complete lack of bathtubs in Hyrule seems to confirm that. However, you have to think that she might put on a bathrobe or a pajama or something at one point. Or maybe Ganondorf is just a lousy sorcerer.

17 I’ll Be Watching You

If we go back to the fact that Link was asleep in the Chamber of the Sages for seven years, we might find some odd things concerning the whole process. First of all, he enters the Sacred Realm as a child, and leaves (almost) as a man. It means that though his mind was in stasis, his body kept growing for those seven years. And yet, when he wakes up, not only does he possibly have the worst case of morning breath in the history of the world, he also has brand new clothes that fit him like a glove. And his ear is pierced? Rauru was the only other person present in the Chamber of the Sages.

Did he do all that?

Technically, if Link had been undisturbed for those seven years, he should be looking like the Incredible Hulk in his ripped-up kid’s clothing. Instead, it is obvious that someone has been playing dress up with him. So was it just “the magic of the Realm”, or maybe it was one of those time paradox things? And if it was indeed Rauru, how did he do it? Did he really make new clothes every time the kid would outgrow them, or did he just make one way-too-big set of clothes that he hoped Link would grow into and which just happened to fit perfectly in the end? I think the answer is clear, and it’s the creepiest one.

16 The Reward At The End Of The Road

When starting Breath of the Wild, Link’s inventory is incredibly small, which limits the number of weapons and shields he can carry at one time. The only way to expand that inventory is by collecting Korok seeds, most of which are hidden in faraway places or are revealed after solving simple puzzles. Giving these seeds back to Hestu – so he can fill his maracas with them, of course – will compel him to use his magic power to grant you extra inventory space.

So I guess that answers another question we had previously about Link’s infinitely huge pockets: the answer is “magic.”

Though you do not need to collect every single one of them, there are 900 Korok seeds hidden all over Hyrule. Surely, collecting all of them has to be worth something, right? Maybe a new set of armor, or a special weapon? Nope. For achieving this incredible feat of patience and dedication, you simply receive “Hestu’s Gift.” It’s gold, sure, but it has no use at all, and oh yeah: it’s shaped like poop. The item’s description even mentions that “it smells pretty bad”. Spending hundreds of hours collecting seeds, only to be rewarded with a sentient tree’s golden poop? Now that doesn’t make sense at all.

15 Tingle’s Entire Existence

I love Tingle probably more than most other Zelda fans, to the point where I even imported his first Nintendo DS game, Freshly Picked Tingle’s Rosy Rupeeland, when I realized it wouldn’t be available in North America. I was thoroughly disappointed by the game, but I was still happy that the character was at least getting the spotlight. Yet, despite being a fan, it’s hard to look at Tingle and say “this guy makes sense”. He’s 35 years old, he wears green spandex because he thinks that’s how fairies dress themselves, and he sells or decodes maps for money. Also, he forces his two brothers (and one totally unrelated man which he holds captive) to work for him by endlessly spinning his tower for him. Somehow, he’s got magic powers too?

Things get even more bizarre if you play the aforementioned spin-off DS game. The game features a man with a rupee for a face. Tingle’s dog dresses exactly like him, and there’s a bunch of other characters that look like they have come out of a Tim Burton nightmare. Everything about Tingle is weird, little of it has any logic, and yet, it’s that streak of absurd behaviour which helps me appreciate the character even more.

14 How Did You Get It In There?

One of the most stressful moments of my teenage years was trying to save Epona from Lon Lon Ranch in Ocarina of Time. The last race is incredibly tough, and Ingo being such a jerk added a sense of urgency to it. I had to retry it many times, but at least I got a really cool horse out of the ordeal. The race can be replayed for the opportunity to beat Malon’s best time, after which you will be rewarded with your very own cow to give you infinite milk. The milk replenishes Link’s hearts, so it’s a lot cheaper than constantly paying for potions.

The cow is delivered straight to your house in Kokiri Forest, which is nice of the Lon Lon Ranch people. However, it’s worth mentioning that the house is no bigger than a shed, really, and that it’s on top of a tree. There are no stairs to get there, only a rickety wooden ladder probably built by Link when he was a kid. Also, the doorframe is too little for a cow to fit in. So how exactly did Malon get the cow in there? These are all legitimate questions that might have bugged me if it wasn’t for the fact that, hey, free milk forever!

13 Beggars Can’t Be Choosers

Our good friends, the Gorons, have an entire life based around rocks. They are seemingly made out of rocks, they live surrounded by rocks, and they eat rocks. They claim that the best and most delicious rocks can be found in Dodongo’s Cavern, and that any mineral that comes from there is a delicacy. Then, Ganondorf has to enter the picture and be a jerk, so he blocks the entrance to Dodongo’s Cavern.

Even if we forget that the entrance to the cave was easily cleared with a single bomb flower, one which grows right next to the cavern, there’s still one thing about the situation which makes little sense. The Gorons, for the short time in which they no longer have access to Dodongo’s Cavern, insist that they are going to starve unless they can find a way to get back inside.

But Goron City, and literally all of Death Mountain (or any mountain in the world, really), is made entirely of rocks.

The Gorons are either just incredibly picky eaters, or overly dramatic. Maybe the Dodongo’s Cavern rocks taste better, but if you give me the choice between eating ground beef instead of filet mignon, or starving, I think I’ll be able to manage.

12 The Arrow That Broke The Camel’s Back

In most The Legend of Zelda games, Link will have to carry a few pairs of boots, a few tunics, a bunch of swords and shields, a hookshot, a boomerang, a bow, and a dozen other items or so which change depending on which game you are playing. We have established how this works a few entries above – it’s magic! – but even that explanation loses a bit of its sense when you discover the completely arbitrary limits imposed by some of the games. It’s something that most entries are guilty of doing.

Despite the humongous size of Link’s inventory, and his bottomless pockets, most games impose a limit on the number of bomb, arrows or rupees Link can carry at one time. Should you want to carry just one more, even as your inventory is filled with more tools than a Home Depot, then you need a specific upgrade for that. Your pockets are already limitless! Why does Link have to jump through hoops like that? At least Breath of the Wild understood that and decided to make it even more ridiculous. Do you want to carry 75,000 rupees, or 254 arrows, or even 100 apples? Go for it! I’m glad that the series finally decided to lean into its more ridiculous side.

11 Anatomy Of A Fish

The third dungeon in Ocarina of Time takes place inside the belly of a fish, one which is larger than Link, but not obscenely so. That’s because Princess Ruto has been lost inside for quite some time according to the King of the Zora, who is obviously the father of the year, and she is the only one who can tell you where to find the Zora Sapphire. Jabu-Jabu’s Belly is fun, but it is a really weird dungeon.

I’m willing to bypass the fact that the dungeon itself is at the very least ten times bigger than the fish inside of which it takes place. I’m also willing to let go of the fact that it has functioning doors in a fish’s digestive tract. But what I really don’t understand is why there’s a map of the belly, hidden inside of the belly. Who made it, and for what purpose? If enough people get lost inside the belly of your giant fish that it becomes necessary to map out the place so they can find the exit more easily, then maybe it’s time to find a different solution. Like putting up a fence around the area, maybe? Even the most mediocre zoo has figured that one out.

10 Done With The Pirate Life

Wind Waker changed a lot of things about The Legend of Zelda’s traditional formula. One of those positive changes was turning Princess Zelda into Tetra, a super cool pirate. Sure, we knew that Tetra was Zelda even though the game doesn’t reveal that fact until about the halfway point, but it was a nice evolution in a series that has been portraying the princess as helpless for most of its existence.

Tetra, despite being about ten years old, has her own gigantic ship, and her own crew.

She has the respect of the exclusively male crew, and it seems like they have been doing the pirate thing for a while. She even has a sword and everything, and she obviously knows how to defend herself. She even helps Link take the fight to the Forsaken Fortress so he can save his sister.

When she suddenly discovers that she is actually Zelda’s descendant, she magically changes into a pink dress, at which point she becomes too fragile to be a pirate, or fight, or do anything but wait for Link to take care of business. Why? Tetra was such a great character, why couldn’t she go back to her ship despite the revelation and play a more active role? The game was so close to finally giving Zelda more than a passive role, but in the end, we had to wait until Spirit Tracks to get anything remotely close to playing as the Princess.

9 I’m Famous In Hyrule

In Breath of the Wild, Gerudo Town has a very strict rule which prohibits men from entering the city. The whole place is populated by women, and all the tourists are women, so Link has to dress as one to make it inside and meet with Riju, the ruler of the place. You are tasked with the usual objectives, such as saving the world and stopping the wrath of the Divine Beast, which you accomplish with gusto because you are the Champion of Hyrule. Once you are done, you reveal yourself as a man to Riju, who seems pretty chill about the whole thing and seems to accept you for who you are. Even the owner of The Noble Canteen eventually learns of your identity. Surely, it’s safe to start dressing in your other armors, right?

Nope! You saved the town, you helped all of its inhabitants find happiness in the quest to acquire the Thunder Helm, and yet, the guards will still throw you out of there if you wear anything other than your disguise. Those stupid guards! I SAVED THIS PLACE. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? You would think that there would be some privileges given to Link once he gets the chief’s approbation, but no dice.

8 Prison Break

Wind Waker’s Link has to save his sister Aryll from the Forsaken Fortress before he even tries to take on Ganondorf and save the whole world. That’s because she has been kidnapped by a gigantic bird which had been tasked with finding Princess Zelda, despite only being given the clue that she was supposed to be a young girl with blonde hair. Anyway, Link makes it to the Forsaken Fortress with the help of Tetra and her pirates, where he finally finds his sister in a prison cell. The poor girl is behind bars, and no one has a key. What is Link supposed to do?

If you look closely (or even not all that closely, it’s fairly obvious) at the picture above this entry, you will notice that the prison’s bars have more than enough space between them for both Link or Aryll to easily make it in and out of the cell without opening the door. Is it just their freakishly large head which prevents them from doing so? Link is a guy who has solved hundreds of puzzles over the course of the series, and yet, a prison door with gaps as large as a doorway has him beat. If Nintendo had designed the prison to have the traditional metal bars, maybe Link and Aryll wouldn’t look like such a pair of dummies.

7 The Whole Timeline Business

Let’s go a bit larger and get more philosophical with the things that don’t make sense. As a big fan of the series, I have read so much about The Legend of Zelda and its timeline, even before there was an official one, that I have to be some kind of honorary doctor in the discipline of the history of Hyrule. I understand the split between the child and adult timeline which starts with the ending of Ocarina of Time, because it makes sense in a Terminator kind of way. But the third branch, which is the possibility that Link loses to Ganon?

We are getting in comic book territory at this point, with an infinite number of dimensions for every possible little change in the timeline.

While the placement of every game flowing from that possibility does make sense, the fact that we must consider that Link might fail is a bit harder to digest. After all, which of the ending is supposed to be canon? If it is “Link wins!”, then everything in the timeline branch of his possible loss never actually happens. It’s very philosophical of Nintendo to consider every possible denouement to their story, but it also opens up way too many possibilities. If it means that we will eventually get a game placed in a fourth different reality where, maybe, Link missed the meeting with Princess Zelda at Hyrule Castle because his alarm didn’t go off or something, then count me out.

6 Ride On, Man!

This is a personal complaint, one which has been irritating me slightly, but which thankfully has not stopped me from enjoying this masterpiece. It’s more of an expectation, really. Breath of the Wild has trained me to believe that anything with four legs can be mounted and taken for a ride. You can ride a horse, an elk, a deer, a freakin’ bear, a skeleton horse, even a Lynel for a while. I once even rode a Guardian as some kind of moving turret. However, no matter how stealthy I am, the game won’t let me ride a moose, or a rhino, or a buffalo, or a wolf.

My wife really wanted me to ride a wolf, although I am more about the rhinoceros, myself.

Anyway, I just figured that once the bear entered the equation, everything else would be fair game. Why not the moose or the rhino? Are they really that much larger than the bear, so it wouldn’t look “right” or something? The game even has a mission where you are tasked with finding a giant horse, one which towers over your usual steeds. It’s almost comically oversized, and yet, Link can ride it just fine.

I just really wish I could ride a rhinoceros and gore some enemies on my way somewhere.